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Here's your joke:
Italian Mother


A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

His mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing Ma!! You're right!!!! How did you know!?"

The Italian mother replies, "I don't like her."



Here's your picture joke:
Ole & Sven

Ole & Sven


Ole and Sven were fishing in the Minnesota opener when Sven pulled out a cigar.
Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.

'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,'
he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

Ole & Sven


'Yiminy Crick et!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'

'Vell,' replied Ole,
'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.

'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.

'Could I see him?'

Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Ole & Sven


Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.

Ole & Sven


The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... flying directly overhead.

Ole & Sven


Over the roar of the million ducks,
Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy,
I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'

Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?'



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